Ahhhh February, the month of love!


This designation for a month that is otherwise pretty dismal in the northern hemisphere, will bring up a wide array of reactions, depending on your current circumstances or past experiences.  Which emoji best describes your feelings about Valentine’s Day?

No matter how you feel about love and all things mushy, this article is for you, because it speaks to SELF-LOVE.

There’s so much focus in February on love between lovers, but it’s important to understand that until you truly love yourself (embarrassments, flaws and all), that soul mate kind of love we see in movies (or the professional success you may be craving), will forever be out of reach.

Are you consistently attracting the same kind of person again and again - people who either take advantage of your good nature or people who consistently put you down?  Or potential buyers who need what you offer but won't invest?

Now I know I’m sort of mixing romantic relationships with business relationships here, but the point is, it doesn’t matter.  If you don’t think enough of yourself, you have likely established a pattern in which others don’t value you much either, personally or professionally.  

And here’s why: 

Chances are, your 5-8 year old self (still buried deep within you) is - and has been - driving the bus and doing a hazardous job of it, based on 5-8 year old understanding of how things work AND because we have additionally ignored, bullied or suppressed her.

Sound nutty?  I know, right?

But it’s true and here’s how to prove it:

Start listening to your inner voice - that voice in your head that responds whenever you make a mistake, large or small.  Track that voice for a couple days and just notice.  Is it kind, loving and forgiving?  Or does it beat you silly for the slightest oopsie?

If your inner voice is a mean, nasty bully, it’s a good bet that your inner kid is fed up with being ignored, is scared or is very very sad (or some combination of those).  And if Baby ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

Back to SELF LOVE. 

If you can’t remember the last time you gave your (inner) child self a warm loving hug, gave him/her space to play (play dress up or roll down a grassy hill) or gave him/her permission to put the two of you first, Valentine’s Day is the perfect chance to show yourself some love.

If you are “celebrating” Valentine’s Day alone, it’s the ideal time to do something JUST FOR YOU and I want you to revel in the deliciousness of it (vs. feeling sorry for yourself that you are not celebrating with a special someone else).  


Need some ideas how?  Here are a few fun ways to practice self-love and give your inner kid some attention: 

  • Treat yourself to a massage or facial
  • Have some Champagne/Cava/Prosecco, even if you are alone - “more for me!!”
  • Go to a local department store and have a makeover!
  • Go to a playground and swing your self silly
  • Go to a water park to ride, slide and float!
  • If doing something “romantic” like a hot air balloon ride sounds lame because you’re single, get some of your besties together - LOVE is LOVE!

Now I want to hear back from you - tell me how you’re gonna give yourself some love this month!



Suggested Reading to develop Self Love      (And there's nothing in it for me..... )



Live Workshops coming to Phoenix locations this month - details to follow!




Nancy Banner
Nancy Banner Coaching
3201C Zafarano Dr., #307
Santa Fe, New Mexico 87507
United States of America